I was speaking to a group today, telling them about one of my earliest epiphanies when I started on this spiritual path: buy gas by the tank, and cigarettes by the carton! You might think “hmmmm not exactly the deep spiritual guidance I was looking for Beth” but let me expand on the concept 🙂

I realized that I started EVERY DAY almost out of gas, and on my last pack of cigarettes [note-I became a non-smoker in 1990] – so it consumed my day in an ‘under the radar’ kind of way…. every time I smoked a cigarette, I realized I had to get to the store… every time I got in my car I realized I needed gas… but no time to get it now, I’ll stop after work. Oops, no time now, I’ll stop after the meeting… well, I’m tired now, I’ll stop on the way to work tomorrow morning..oops, I hit the snooze one too many times, I’m going to be late, and AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH I can’t get to work with no gas and I’m late and there’s no time to stop, and ARRRRGGGHHHH….. and then it would begin again (with $3 of new gas and one new pack of cigarettes).

All well and good, but why bring it up now? That was 1988! So why now? A friend of mine once said that our character defects don’t go away, they just go off stage and change costumes! My create-a-crisis defect might be wearing better shoes and driving a better car, but how many times do I STILL create my own drama? Putting off projects at work, hitting the snooze alarm again…and again…. watching TV instead of doing, well, almost anything! haha

My pledge for the rest of the week (and yes, I know tomorrow is Friday, but a girl has to start somewhere!) is to look for the places in my life where I still create unnecessary drama….. anybody with me??