YAY GOD

Actually, there isn’t a thing wrong with me other than chronic procrastination, but I didn’t think that made for a very catchy title…

I have been “meaning to” get back into the writing habit since mid-June.. so, in the spirit of “it’s 5:00 somewhere”, maybe it’s still June somewhere? No? Ah, well then… let’s fall back on the perennial favorite “better late than never” 🙂

It has been quite a year of wonderful/awful/mundane/special things… after each of which I said “I really need to start writing again… TOMORROW!” And, of course, tomorrow never comes, because as the dawn breaks, it is once again today… so let’s try again, together, to celebrate the good, the  bad, and the cosmetically-challenged (how’s THAT for politically correct??) that come along the path as we navigate God’s world together.

As always, if you have a good story about “God showing off” in your life, please feel free to send it, and I will pass it along to our vast readership (ok, 14 people, but we are building!) so they can share in a smile.

In the meantime… (think Aerosmith)…I’m back!!! Back in the saddle again….

I heard a wonderful phrase this weekend – the speaker said she tries to live life in the “is” instead of in the “isn’t” – in other words she looks at what IS in her life instead of mourning what is missing. I have always (ok, almost always) incorporated gratitude lists into my daily attitude, but I to admit that it didn’t always keep me from focusing on the “isn’t”.

A Christmas with a family member (errant teenager) missing- and rather than appreciating the family that WAS there, choosing to be sad because of who WASN’T there.

Receiving beautiful gifts for Christmas or a birthday but setting them aside because of the gift or card that DIDN’T come from someone.

In hindsight, how awful must that have been for the family and friends who WERE there and who DID go to the trouble of shopping for a card or gift. What was I saying to them, other than, gee thanks for coming but sorry, you just aren’t good enough.

It turns out that “Isn’t” isn’t a very nice place to be. And it’s even harder on the people around us. I heard early on in my spiritual journey that we can’t be grateful and depressed at the same time. Depression and “isn’t” share real estate a lot of the time. People who live in “isn’t” are hard to spend time with – nothing is ever good enough – they are rarely satisfied.

On the other hand, what a joy to spend time with people who enjoy life – who are grateful for both the big and small things. Who live in the present and happily anticipate the future… not looking for something new, but knowing that “is” will be there tomorrow too and it’s a great place to be.

I got to spend this weekend with a lot of people who practice living in “is”…. they have an energy about them, and a passion for life. I always feel like I have put “air in my spiritual tires” after one of these weekends.

I am hopeful that I can get back to regular postings here — I started out with a goal of four times per week, and  hung in there for awhile, but then life got in the way. And, sadly, I spent some time in “isn’t”. But I am back now, and am eternally grateful to all of you who kept the home fires burning in the land of “is”.

I would love to hear from any of you who would like to share a story, whether it’s about “is” or anything from a past post. I can be reached at yaygodblog@yahoo.com – I look forward to the days to come, and the surprises that unfold, as we live life one day at a time together.

Yay God!!

It is hard to say goodbye to someone we love – even when that someone is a pet. Today we said goodbye to “the Colonel” (our cat – we got him after both kids enlisted in the Army and we wanted to be sure that they knew who outranked who in our house! lol). He went peacefully, in my arms, at the vet’s office this morning.

He was ‘hospitalized’ Sunday after we realized he hadn’t been eating (always unusual for anyone in our family) and was diagnosed with liver problems. It became evident that we couldn’t diagnose further without feeding tubes, ultrasounds and biopseys, etc and we didn’t want to put him through all of that… so we let him go quietly, with dignity, and we will try to maintain the same (quiet dignity) on our end.

So where’s the spiritual message in this… I know, so far it’s just been kind of depressing. But I am forever grateful that I was able to do the right thing. I am forever grateful that I held an animal in my arms this morning that loved and trusted me, not one that turned and ran every time he saw me coming.

I am forever grateful that I can FEEL this kind of pain, rather than running from it, or trying to anesthetize it. There was a long time where anything that looked painful had to be avoided at all costs, even when the cost to others (for my lack of action) was huge.

As a friend of mine says, I am grateful I was given another chance. A chance to participate in ALL of life, the good and the bad. A chance to make the lives of others around me a little more pleasant. The chance to be a family member. And the chance to learn to let go without traumatizing everyone around me…

I used to have a T-shirt that said “everything I let go of has claw marks on it”… I’m grateful that is no longer my motto… because letting go (or, more accurately, not letting go) like that just makes it all about me. Look at ME… look at MY pain…. LOOK WHAT I AM going through… and, really, today wasn’t about me at all, was it? It was the Colonel’s final breath.. and his goodbye.

Several months ago I was asked to speak in Texas in May of this year. I always love invites to Texas because our daughter is stationed at Fort Hood (Army) – however this trip, she was going to be deployed so I wasn’t going to get to see her, as she wasn’t due back until June. I went ahead and made my plane reservations and didn’t think much more about it.

Fast forward to April this year… suddenly the Army is moving up her date to come out of Afghanistan and back into Texas – and the closer my trip gets, the more they move her up – the result, she just HAPPENED to arrive in Texas the day before I got there. And those plane reservations I made months ago just HAPPENED to leave me time to hop into a rental car and drive up to Fort Hood to get her before my commitments in San Antonio began…. and there just HAPPENED to be additional seats on all four of my flights (two coming and two going) so that I could make a last minute addition… and bring her four-year-old daughter (aka the Princess!) to see her as a surprise.

Now what are the odd of all of that lining up? Most of the time we would say slim to none… but not in God’s world! If we can get out of the way and watch, we can see things like this happen all the time. 

How perfect is His ballet? Especially if we can all stick to our own part and not all try to dance the lead! (easier said that done). How often can we hear His music when we take the time to stop and listen?

I spent a lot of time trying to make my own music and dance my own dance – wow did I step on a lot of toes! And we won’t talk about my singing… let’s just say the world is a much nicer place when I am letting Him provide the music, and I am moving to the steps He assigns. What a beautiful dance He has given us….

Oh, and….. welcome home Sarah!

Thanks God 🙂

Wow that full-time-job-during-busy-season really cuts into a girl’s blogging time! It was a particularly difficult this year with some personal stuff going on in addition to the usual crazy work schedule, but I learned a lot.

I learned I am not 40 any more and can’t go indefinitely on 3-4 hours of sleep per night.

I leaned that I have to take some time out for me, or I am of no use to anyone else (so THAT’S why they tell you to put your own oxygen mask  on first in the event of problems on a plane…)

So where is the spirituality in all of this? I was reminded again and again that advice as simple as “be where your hands are” can lend a lot to the sanity department. Clearly many of us do things on a daily basis that nobody could possibly do… but we do it by taking each moment as it comes and doing what is in front of us.

Years ago I read a book called “Too Busy Not To Pray” (by Bill Hybels) and he said (and I’m paraphrasing) that often our problem is that we get to the mountain, and we just look at the mountain and say ‘wow that’s a big mountain, I’ll never get over that one.’ But if we look at GOD instead of the mountain, He moves the mountain for us, or it turns out that it wasn’t really a mountain after all, just a hill that we were viewing from the wrong perspective.

That reading always reminds me of the tightrope walker… he doesn’t watch his feet on the rope – if he did, he would lose his balance – he watches a fixed point in front of him – we need to do the same. When I keep my eyes on God, all else falls into place.

Breathe, focus, eyes on the solution… now THERE is a spiritual message!

On the way home from work last night it hit me full force how much life can completely change in a few months.

Late last summer we were coming home from a trip when my husband mentioned a tremor that had developed in his arm. We had, on occasion, discussed an “active adult” neighborhood that we wanted to move into when he turned 60 (he is 55), but with this new development, we heard a still small voice say ‘move now while you have two incomes to qualify for the mortgage, etc’.

In the space of 6 weeks we went from “not even on the horizon” to “for sale” – it wasn’t without drama – we discovered several things that needed to be done to our existing house before we could sell it (meaning $$$$$$), we had a full travel schedule and very little time to get the house in order, but we plunged in, swallowed our pride, and asked for help. A LOT of help.

More than one person asked us along the way “why now? What’s the rush?” and all we could say was we heard the voice that said MOVE NOW. Some of our acquaintances thought we had lost our minds…. our friends probably did too, but most of them have their own experience with ‘the still small voice’ so they just pitched in and helped.

Long story short, we moved into the new place on December 23rd. On December 30th my husband got sick, spent a week in the hospital in January, and has been disabled and unable to work ever since. But we are in a smaller, one-story house, with less mortgage, lower monthly bills, and have several friends in the new neighborhood who stop by, give rides, etc. We have been (mostly) taking it in stride, one day at a time, but last night the enormity of it washed over me all at once. And I thought THANK GOD we listened to that voice…even when people thought we were nuts… because we are OK now, even with life turning completely upside down.

I wonder if that’s how Noah felt when it started to rain….

Funny how we never hear THIS one when things are going well! I have spent the last week or two putting one foot in front of the other just trying to do ‘the next right thing’ – today on the way to work, for what felt like the first time in a couple of weeks, I not only felt the sun on my face, but the Sunlight of the Spirit in my heart.

I once heard it described this way…. when we are out in the sun and a cloud passes by, we momentarily don’t feel the warmth on our face, but it doesn’t mean the sun is gone – it just means something has come between us and the light.

What a great analogy for those times when we feel ‘cut off’ from the spirit – He isn’t gone, there is just something between us and the Light – sometime it’s “self”, sometimes it’s trauma, sometimes it’s just a passing cloud. But what comfort to know that the Light is always there, even when we can’t see it. We just need to stand our ground and know that the cloud will pass, trusting that the sun is still there.

I am grateful for the years of my own experience, and the experience of those who have walked before me, that reminds me that clouds are not the same as darkness, and I am never alone. I turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

Thanks God! Or, maybe I should use my favorite prayer… Yay God!!

Inspired or insane, only time will tell, but we have added a puppy to the family! A 10-week old beagle named Jackson.

As I watched him play this morning I was reminded of something one of my favorite spiritual leaders says: “How much better would life be if we all lived like dogs!!” He went on to explain:

A dog lives in the now – in the moment – and whatever he is doing RIGHT NOW is his FAVORITE thing…

Sit??? Oh boy! I LOVE to sit!! Let’s sit! yay!!!

Lay down???? Oh boy!! I LOVE to lay down!!! Woo hoo!!!

Chase the stick? Oh boy oh boy oh boy I LOVE TO CHASE STICKS!!!!!!!

Sit? Oh boy oh boy I LOVE TO SIT!!!!

Roll over??? Oh boy…. well, you get the idea. You never see a dog moping around because the price of gas is going up, or because his best friend dissed him yesterday. Dogs live in a perpetual state of gratitude for whatever is in front of them. They love life, they love people (most people) and who doesn’t like to see a wagging tail?

So, I don’t know about you, but I am going to take a cue from Jackson for the rest of today…. WORK? OH BOY!! MY FAVORITE THING!! I GET TO WORK TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

(I feel better already! This stuff works! Have a great, tail-wagging kind of a day!)

As a lifelong fan of Peanuts, this is one of my favorite “Lucyisms” – she is sitting on a swing pondering the thought…. several years ago someone suggested that I thought the world revolved around me and I was quite offended. Now it just makes me laugh (because it’s oh so true).

Here is a perfect example of how the rules change according to my position at the time… I was merging onto a freeway and the car in the right lane didn’t move over to let me in. My thought: Geez buddy there’s plenty of room, the least you could do is move over and let me in!!”  ONE exit later, I was the car in the right lane as someone was trying to merge… and my thought was “dang pal, it says yield in your lane! What the heck!”

Sound familiar?

I have spent years learning how to ‘take the target off my chest’ – what do I mean by that? Let’s say a friend walks past me on the street without saying hello – my immediate reaction used to be ‘what did I do to her??” I never considered the idea that perhaps she had something else on her mind and didn’t see me… of course, I walked past people all the time while deep in thought and didn’t even see them, but this is different! Someone walked past me!

It seems that my narrator (ie voices in my head that offer running commentary on my day as it progresses) has always added a silent “TO ME” to every occurrence….  the kids are doing it TO ME…. the traffic…. doing it TO ME….. the weather…. well you get the idea.

One of the wonderful things about spiritual living is the ability to live life without wearing a target. The kids aren’t doing anything TO ME, they are just doing what kids do… and they would do it no matter who was here…. That woman? She is just being who she is – whether I am around or not…. what freedom to go through a day without thinking that everyone is aiming at me. Well, most days anyway! I admit that I still tend to wear a target where my mother is concerned… some day I hope to cut that poor woman some slack two days in a row (ie have a conversation without getting defensive) – for now, at least I recognize the target, which is step 1 in the target-removal process, eh?

As for all of you… I wish you a target-free weekend!

(I would love to hear some of your ‘Lucy’ moments – feel free to email me at yaygodblog@yahoo.com)

Wow, how much better would life be if we could all get judged by our intentions instead of our actions, eh? Sorry for the long pause between posts… I have been a bit under the weather… but, of course, I MEANT to post, so that should count, right????

And, therein, lies most of the drama from conflicts past…. back to the days of “create-a-crisis”… I MEANT to do my homework, really! I MEANT to call you back, really! And, I really really really really meant to pay you back that money! What’s the problem?

I never realized how much of life’s comforts come from being able to “look the world in the eye”… it wasn’t until I started the spiritual journey that I really began to worry about my word being worth something. At age 29, I learned to be where I said I would be, when I said I would be there… not that my parents didn’t attempt to instill that value, it just seemed so…well…. square!! Who wants to be like their parents!

Nearly always my epiphanies are of the ‘hindsight’ variety. I began to be where I said I would be, and do what I said I would do, not really thinking a whole lot about it, other than the fact that I was tired of living the way I was living and this was a suggested change by someone whose opinion I cherished.

Fast forward two years… I was on my way in somewhere to shoot a quick game of pool with a friend – as we got to the doorway, he stopped cold and said “I really don’t want to be in here right now, can we go somewhere else?” Not a problem, we relocated our game to another venue – but then he asked me what I thought about it – and the words that came out of my mouth were as much of a surprise to me as they were to him…. I said “It just makes me grateful that I don’t have to live like that any more!”

At that moment, I realized it had been nearly two years since I needed to turn and go the other way when I saw someone in a room I was entering. It had been nearly two years since I had needed to cross the street, or duck into a store, to avoid someone. It had been nearly two years since I felt the pit of my stomach drop when I opened my mail, or answered my phone (no caller ID back in those days!).  And for whatever reason, I realized that the REASON I hadn’t needed to do any of that was simply because I had been doing what I said I would do (including paying back money), being where I said I would be, and making amends for past wrongs in those areas.

What a freedom to be able to go anywhere, and do anything – and it was as simple as bringing my actions into line with my intentions…. One of my favorite sayings (now) is: “what you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say”….. it’s a good reminder for daily living… what would I be telling people, if they were to ‘turn down the sound and look at the picture’…. more to come on this topic… it’s a good one!

Have a great day fellow travelers!