YAY GOD

Several years ago I heard a speaker tell the following story:

I was diagnosed with emphysemia and cancer and given two years to live. I spent the first year moping around feeling pretty sorry for myself. Then that TWA flight went down and everyone on board was killed. I found myself wondering…if someone on the plane that day had just been told they only had two years to live, and what they really had was 8 minutes… I wonder if they would have spent that 8 minutes differently….

Too often we lose precious time worrying about what might happen, or depressed because we are going to have to give something up in the future (‘why bother, I’ll just have to give it away later’) when none of us have a guarantee that we are going to BE around later to lose it!

Our daughter is currently in Afghanistan in a pretty hot area. How do we cope? I remind myself that she could get run down by a truck here at home (it might sound morbid but you get my point)(hopefully! haha).

The future is never guaranteed, and so far, my attempts to predict it have been laughable at best. I can’t be happy if I pick a pivot point in the future, focus on it, and rewrite the rest of my life around it. My happiness and sanity are directly related to how much time I spend where I am NOW, enjoying what is around me NOW.

What will your next 8 minutes look like?

[note – the speaker I referred to gave that talk 5 years after he was given 2 years to live]

A friend of mine recently relayed this story about her husband’s experience while stateside (they are currently ‘stationed’ in Europe for his job) – it was too good to keep to myself – the names have been changed (to Bill and Bob… what else? haha) to protect the anonymous! So here it is, as told by “Bill’s” wife:

While Bill was in Kansas for training, he spent the weekend in Nebraska visiting with his sponsor. While he was there, he went up to the penitentiary and spoke at their AA meeting.  He told the story about being deployed to Bosnia several years ago. He was coming up on his 10 year anniversary and was bummed because there were no meetings on base, and he had recently moved to Ohio so he hadn’t been there long enough to have a home group who might send him a coin.  He went to the chaplain who sent him off to Mental Health to talk to someone. 

He walked into the tent and there sat Bob. Bill and Bob had originally met when both were stationed in Korea – they met through service work. So he and Bob started having meetings. Bill told Bob his tale of woe about the token. Bob said: “Bill, I just celebrated 11 years and my group sent me my token…so I have a 10-year coin I can give you. [this is the kind of thing that I lovingly refer to as “God showing off” – Beth]

After he finished his talk, one of the inmates came up and asked if he’s still in touch with Bob. Bill said no and the inmate said, “That’s too bad, people like that are people we need in our lives.”

Recognizing this as a not-so-subtle hint from God, when Bill got back to Kansas to complete his training, he looked Bob up on Facebook. It turns out Bob is a civilian working at Ft Leavenworth KS (where Bill is at school) and his office is 500 feet from where Bill sits each day for class. They got in touch, met, went to meetings and got to hang out for a couple of nights. Best of all, he now gets to stay in touch with someone who made a difference…GOD SHOWS OFF BIG!!!

[Editor’s note – if you have stories like this I would love to hear them and (with your permission) share them – please send them to yaygodblog@yahoo.com]

You can’t always get what you want…. but if you try sometimes, you just might find…. you get what you need…. oh yeah…

Over and over and over again, this is my experience – I always get what I need, and it’s always right on time. Don’t get me wrong, I would certainly be thrilled if things came early, and easily, and with a little (or, as long as we’re being honest, a LOT) left over! But the bottom line is, my needs are met. Every time. And it is fun to watch God “showing off”.

A few years ago we decided to really buckle down on the fiscal responsibility – we made a good living but money was going out as fast as it came in. When we made the decision, we were already scheduled to make a trip to Texas to see our daughter. Of necessity there was going to be a hotel bill and rental car on the credit card, but we decided to go ahead and make the rest of the trip on a “cash basis” instead of having one last blowout and ‘starting when we got back’ (you know THAT old behavior! “I’ll start tomorrow!!”)

We successfully stayed on track and within our cash means and arrived home with $615 in charges on the card, about what we expected. When we picked up our mail we had a letter from PSNC (the local gas company) which started out by explaining that they had installed a new meter at our house and in the process discovered that ours wasn’t working properly. Soooo…. they were refunding our overpayments from March 2004 to June 2007, and “please accept our sincere apology, and this check for….. $608”!!!!

What can you say to that except “hey honey, come look! God is showing off again!” It always comes, it always comes on time, there is NEVER extra, but always enough. The longer I experience this, the more that whole “manna from heaven” deal makes sense to me…. daily needs, met daily. Faith that they will be met. And for those of us who are a little young for Doris Day (see my earlier post) we have Mick Jagger to sing along with 🙂

You can’t always get what you waaaaaant…..but if you try sometimes, you just might find…. you get what you neeeeeed….

One of the first things I learned when I moved to the south was that you can say absolutely anything about anybody as long as you say “bless her (or his) heart” at the end. “Oh she dyed her hair again??? bless her heart….” “He does WHAT for a living?? Bless his heart….” We can assassinate anyone’s character, choices, family, or livelihood…. bless their hearts!!

Tonight it occurred to me that sometimes “principles before personalities!!” can be recovery “code” for “bless her heart!”… OMG he said THAT at the meeting?? Oh well, principles before personalities, right??? wink wink…..

A friend of mine has been writing recently about her epiphany that the ‘principles before personalities’ was to put principles before HER personality, not everyone else’s –  the deal is, that I have a set of principles that can teach and allow me to live as one among my fellows – to “play nice with the other kids.” These principles apply not only to my life in spiritual fellowship, but to my interactions with my family, how I perform at work – they apply everywhere that I am willing to apply them.

I am blessed with a way of life that teaches me how to take action rather than react. How to consider the greater good instead of looking out only for myself. If I can remember to place principles before MY personality on a daily basis I can be one of many and be happy about it.

Who knows….. if I practice long enough maybe you will never hear anyone say “you know that woman named Beth??? Bless her heart……”

Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy???

What?? What happened to Door #3??? Right AND happy! I remember the first time someone asked me that – do you want to be right or do you want to be happy – it really threw me for a loop. You mean they’re not the same thing?

I took a minute to review some of the times I seemed to be in conflict with someone else – how many of those times were the direct result of me trying to be right? Over something that probably didn’t matter anyway? Is it really necessary to point out to someone that no, the Bengals were NOT 2-14 that year, they were 3-13 thankyouverymuch… either way, they SUCKED that year!! Or do we really care if it took an hour and 45 minutes to get somewhere instead of an hour and a half?

How much of my life did I (or do I still) spend trying to be right about every little detail of every little thing, just for the sake of being right? How often do I need to correct someone I love over something that nobody (except me apparently) cares about? When did my way become the only way? How do all these people get along every day without my constant intervention??

I have one memory in particular that always sticks with me – my daughter (then 11 or so) was getting ready to empty the dishwasher, and I found myself preparing to EXPLAIN to her in GREAT detail about why it was better to do the glasses first, then plates, save the silver for last, etc…. a thought came from nowhere with such great force that I knew it didn’t originate with me: “Beth, who CARES what she takes out first or last – when she is finished, it will be empty!!”

Hmmm novel idea… you mean I could be ‘happy’ that the dishwasher is empty, without starting an argument (oops I mean without ‘being right’) about HOW she gets it done? I can be happy WITHOUT being right? What? I will be happy MORE OFTEN if I STOP trying to be right all the time?

Wow, next you’re going to tell me I don’t have to get the last word either…. (more on that tomorrow! hahaha)