It is hard to say goodbye to someone we love – even when that someone is a pet. Today we said goodbye to “the Colonel” (our cat – we got him after both kids enlisted in the Army and we wanted to be sure that they knew who outranked who in our house! lol). He went peacefully, in my arms, at the vet’s office this morning.

He was ‘hospitalized’ Sunday after we realized he hadn’t been eating (always unusual for anyone in our family) and was diagnosed with liver problems. It became evident that we couldn’t diagnose further without feeding tubes, ultrasounds and biopseys, etc and we didn’t want to put him through all of that… so we let him go quietly, with dignity, and we will try to maintain the same (quiet dignity) on our end.

So where’s the spiritual message in this… I know, so far it’s just been kind of depressing. But I am forever grateful that I was able to do the right thing. I am forever grateful that I held an animal in my arms this morning that loved and trusted me, not one that turned and ran every time he saw me coming.

I am forever grateful that I can FEEL this kind of pain, rather than running from it, or trying to anesthetize it. There was a long time where anything that looked painful had to be avoided at all costs, even when the cost to others (for my lack of action) was huge.

As a friend of mine says, I am grateful I was given another chance. A chance to participate in ALL of life, the good and the bad. A chance to make the lives of others around me a little more pleasant. The chance to be a family member. And the chance to learn to let go without traumatizing everyone around me…

I used to have a T-shirt that said “everything I let go of has claw marks on it”… I’m grateful that is no longer my motto… because letting go (or, more accurately, not letting go) like that just makes it all about me. Look at ME… look at MY pain…. LOOK WHAT I AM going through… and, really, today wasn’t about me at all, was it? It was the Colonel’s final breath.. and his goodbye.